Damn!

I think it is a tragic reality of life – that we cannot listen to a person with an open heart, with belief, and assumption of the truth. On the other hand, a lifetime of experiences of feeling let down in various degrees has hardened me up…and now!

There are people who will talk to please and to keep appearances. Of course, I get angry that I should be such a sucker a lot of times, but again, it’s not their fault. They do their best in a given situation…make hay….. And WHY do I have to be such a sucker anyway? This refusal of mine to see this daylight of truth…..this abject refusal to see things for what they are….sheesh!. Why can’t I learn that there are people who will talk only what they feel I like to hear? Why can’t I learn something that is so fundamentally simple? I mean, if I can learn to reverse and park a vehicle in the tightest of spots, surely there must be some iota of intelligence in my dull head that gets it.

It took me a time to realise that I needed to stay on guarded and not succumb so easily to sweet talk. But…this balancing things out took a lot of time. I now understand that you must choose reserve in some situations with some people, and absolutely trust with some others. I am sure I’ll be reaaalllly tested on this one..there will be a time of reckoning. But I am not worried. I know I will get through this too.